Shattered Reflections A Black Veil Brides Fanfiction
by RuinNyght
Summary: Love is never easy even when it's right and love with a rockstar is even harder. With hundreds of different elements trying to pull them apart will Andy Biersack and Ruin be able to hang on to what they've built or will all their dreams become nothing more but shattered reflections. Sequel to Eyes Wide Shut
1. Chapter 1

Ruin groaned as she once more tossed another item of clothing over her shoulder and out into the bedroom with disgust. How was it that two people could possibly have so many clothes? She heard a chuckle come from the room and grumbled shouting over her shoulder. "It's not funny Andy! We have no room in this closet. What the hell is this anyway?" she asked as she came from the closet and made her way over to the computer that had her husband's amused face staring at her as she held up a rather hideous dress that she knew was not hers.

At the sight of it Andy started laughing so hard he choked on the smoke he'd just inhaled, puffs of the gray cloud escaping past lips and nose making her snicker to herself as she plopped down in the computer chair. She took in his features as she waited for him to calm and gain his breath. She missed him so much, talking on Skype helped but she missed being able to reach out and touch something more than just the cool glass of the monitor.

"You're getting that look again," Andy's voice drew her back to attention and she offered a small curve of her lips in apology. She understood he had to go, he had his career and his own dreams to chase just like she did, she just didn't realize before how hard it would be.

Andy watched her eyes lower and though her lips remained curved there was a sadness to it that pained his heart. He hated not having her here with him just an arm's length away. They had both become spoiled to each other's nearness but he knew they could get through this; they could get through anything so long as they had each other. Wanting to bring amusement back to her he chuckled and looked to the dress that she still held in her hands though she'd forgotten it.

"As to that beautiful piece of material that's actually mine." When she brought her eyes to his he watched that single brow rise in question and smirked. "Hey it looked good at one in the morning. Besides I totally rocked the shit out of that." He added with a nod for good measure, succeeding in making her snort with laughter and give a roll of her eyes, for the moment forgetting about the sadness that was never far from either of their minds.

"Andy as much as I love you and think you are one hell of a sexy beast," she paused to lift up the dress and took yet another look at the ugly material before turning her eyes back to his and gives a shake of her head, "not even you could make this look good." Ruin crinkled her nose and tossed it into the trash pile earning her a cry of dismay.

"No! Not the trash pile!" Andy cried dramatically and wiped at a make believe tear. "Poor fugly, never stood a chance against the fashion police. I have you know I got quite a few numbers wearing that." Andy teased and took another drag of his cigarette looking at the growing pile of "trash" compared to the smile pile of "Keep". "You know I'm starting to see a lot more of my clothes in the trash pile than in the keep pile. You trying to say something baby?" He asked with a low purr and smirked watching her shiver even with the shit quality of his monitor. He loved the fact that if he said something, anything in the right tone of voice she would tremble for him. It soothed the questions that distance caused to his ego.

"Stop it," she warned him giving him that knowing look, letting him know she knew exactly what he was doing, "we've talked about starting things you can't finish Mr. Biersack. As to the growing pile of trash it's not my fault you still have clothes in here from when you were sixteen." She stuck out her tongue playfully at him even as she dropped another one of said items into the pile.

"Hey! Just because they are old doesn't mean they should be thrown away. There's nothing at all wrong with that shirt!" he protested only to push his lips and look away as she poked three fingers through three different wholes and wiggled them at him with a knowing smirk. "So, it's still useable. Encase you haven't noticed babe, holes are in." Then his lips would curve into that slow sensual smile that never failed to make her knees weak before he drawled out slow and deep, "Besides Mrs. Biersack, I'm more than willing and able to finish anything we start."

"Andy, consider the shirt already gone. Imagine it up in flames and nothing but ash because you're never going to see it again." She threw the shirt down into the pile with a playful vengeance before she'd turn her attention back to the screen to smile and roll her eyes at him. "Andy, shush." She shook her head making the loose strands of her hair to dance against her features. "I'm not about to start anything with you and have one of the boys bust in and catch us…again"

Andy would laugh at the memory; he honestly didn't think he'd ever seen her face so red from embarrassment. He hadn't exactly been thrilled at being caught either but guys were different. Women just seemed so touchy about people knowing they masturbated, for men it was just a given. It had taken Ruin nearly two weeks just to agree to get on Skype with him again and even then it had been hard to not tease her.

"Aww come on baby, they already know…" he playfully tried to woo her to the idea; already he could see her squirming with remembered embarrassment, her cheeks going a deeper shade of pink. Even after three years of being together he found himself still struck nearly dumb by just how adorable and beautiful his wife was. He loved the fact she could still be shy, loved how easy it was to get her fluster up.

Ruin narrowed her eyes and bit down into her bottom lip knowing he was doing it on purpose. Her husband was an evil bastard sometimes. Just the memory of that awful night was enough to have her wanting to turn the monitor off just to be sure. "Stop it Andy it's not funny. I still don't know if I'll ever be able to face Ben again. God knows he has been stock piling comments just for that moment when I have too." She grumbled, releasing her lip to allow it to pout forward just slightly without realizing it. Then her lips curved into an evil smile of her own, her body leaning forward onto her folded arms. Her eyes dancing as she struck the one nerve she'd found that worked to get him to change the topic.

"Hmm, then again a lot of people talking about how hot it is to have an audience. Maybe your right Andy, maybe next time we should invite all of your buddies to watch your naked wife…"

"Alright, alright. Point proven." Andy growled low, the idea of anyone other than his own eyes watching his wife in the act of anything that involved her naked flesh set his teeth on edge. Andy knew she'd poked the sore spot on purpose but he couldn't exactly be angry about it. He did narrow his eyes at her though for good measure only to roll them as she merely blew him a kiss. Oh she was quite happy with herself now wasn't she? Grumbling, he looked behind her to take in the sight of their room and frowned.

Despite the large piles of clothes on the floor there was still a neat organized manner to the room that had swept through his entire apartment the day she moved in. The only problem was that it seemed even smaller than it had before with the few things she'd placed there and with that being said she hadn't even placed but a few items. In fact now that he thought of it he scanned his eyes around what he could see and realized that there was very little of Ruin in anything except for the neat and tidy way it was all placed.

It had been a year since they were married, surely she should have placed more personal items around the place a long time ago. Hell the only reason she was going through the closet now was to tidy it up a bit, not make more room for her own clothes. If he hadn't taken it upon himself to empty out a couple drawers whose to say she still wouldn't be living out of her luggage. Quietly he sighed to himself and shook his head unable to believe he'd just now noticed, but then he'd spent nearly six months of that year finishing up the tour and then the second half he'd spent in the studio writing for the album they were promoting now. He suddenly felt like a shit husband. His work was no reason to keep him from realizing that his wife was struggling with something quietly as she always had and probably would always try too.

"Babe, why haven't you got your stuff out of the storage yet?" It was only when he saw her eyes widen in surprise that he realized that she'd been talking about something, her lips still formed in the last word she'd spoken before she blinked and looked around her giving a little bit of a shrug before she turned her eyes back to his.

"Honestly I hadn't really thought about it. You already have everything I need here and there's not a lot of room so I figured I'd just keep it in there till we can have a yard sale or whatever to get rid of it." Really honestly it wasn't that big of a deal, at least not to her. Besides it was still Andy's house, even if they were married and she didn't want to move or get rid of anything without his permission first. And honestly she was telling the truth, everything she needed he already had so really there was no point in taking up more space.

"Brandy…" Andy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to think of what to say, more importantly how to say it. That was one thing he had learned after three years of being with Ruin, her temper was just as quick as his and it forced them to stop and think rather than just blurt stuff out and cause an argument over nothing. Then again, he definitely missed the makeup sex. There was something about sex with Ruin when their passions were at their highest that was almost like a drug, she was just as addicting now as she'd been three years ago on that beach and he'd been allowed to taste her for the first time.

"Andy it's fine really. Honestly what's the point, it's not like we need three couches, two dining tables and two beds. You have most the same movies as I do; our music library is about as full as it can be. My clothes barely fit as it is and I have enough."

"The point is that it's your home too and I don't see you anywhere. I want you to be comfortable, to do whatever you want to that place…well no pink." He shuddered at the idea but when she tried to speak again he held up a hand to halt her.

"I'm serious Kitten, unless you're keeping your stuff in storage for like a backup plan for you leaving me or something…"

"Andrew Dennis Biersack!" Ruin cried in outrage making Andy smirk.

"…then we need to fix this situation." He finished, his eyes narrowing as plans already began to form in his mind. Ruin was right about one thing though; there was little room in his apartment. It had been more than enough when he'd been single; hell even with his ex's staying there it hadn't been bad. It had been his space and he'd liked it exactly how it was, but now it was different. Now he wanted to have something that was the both of them, something that didn't have bad memories attached to it.

"Andy it's nothing like that and you know it. I just…it's your place Andy, your stuff. It would feel wrong to get rid of things or move things when you're not here to say it's okay." Her voice was small and when he focused on her again he'd see her eyes lowered to her hands, studying them as she twisted her fingers and bit into her lip.

Sighing Andy wished like hell he was home so he could fold her in his arms and hold her close. It was the small things like this that made him love and appreciate his wife for the true treasure that she was. Anyone else on the planet would have just taken marriage as permission to do whatever they wanted, to twist and change things so they could claim their own little space but not Ruin. No his Kitten understood how important personal space was and had waited nearly a whole year and he knew would have waited longer to be given permission to make herself at home in her own home.

But that was it wasn't it? It wasn't her home, even she'd said it. She still felt like it was His home rather than theirs and now that he thought about it he could fully understand why she would feel that way. He'd been there so little with her, to make the changes that needed to be done to make her feel comfortable but maybe even if he had she'd feel the same and he couldn't say he blamed her. Frowning Andy knew the obvious solution, he just didn't know how to go about it.

"You know what, maybe we should just hold off on that idea for a little while, like you said you have all you need there right?" Andy asked, abruptly changing thought process on the topic and he chuckled seeing her confusion, her eyes blinking owlishly at him before he'd see her give a small nod of her head.

"Don't worry babe, I got an idea." He smirked and then laughed out loud as she groaned and laid her head to rest on the desk. He wasn't offended, if anything he liked the fact that he was still able to keep her on her toes. She'd wanted adventure and marriage to Andy was definitely that.

"I hate it; absolutely hate it when you say that sentence. It always means embarrassment or worse for me." She whines making his laughter grow.

"Well we could always return to the topic of cam sex." He teased her making her cry out and sit up straight giving him a hateful glare.

"Goodnight Andy!" she blew him a kiss and quickly signed out before he could continue his teasing leaving him staring at a blank screen. Laughing Andy shut his lap top and rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. He loved his night calls with Ruin but sometimes it left the loneliness and longing far more painful than it was before.

He could hear the guys in the other part of the bus laughing and joking and he knew that if he went in there they would be able to put the pain away for him for just a little while. Despite that though he didn't rise to join them, instead he turned his attention out the windows to the passing scenery. He wasn't even sure what state he was in at the moment, just a line of trees and hills with a few passing houses between. It could be Kansas; it could Canada for all he knew. All he did know however was that he wanted to be home. He wanted to pull his wife into bed and distract her from her OCD cleaning spree. He wanted to hear her laugh, to feel it vibrating her frame as he held her close to him. He wanted to taste her kiss not just imagine it.

Sighing he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the names until he came to Jon's number. He knew he was going to catch so much hell for this but if he didn't take the time to do it now, there wouldn't be another opportunity for some time. One thing that being married to his Kitten had taught him was that sometimes you had no choice but to make things difficult for others so you could steal a little happiness for yourself. Two hours later and arrangements made he was finally hanging up on a still whining Jon. Andy settled back into the cushions of the sofa and this time scrolled to a name that brought a smile to his lips just looking at it. After three rings the other end finally picked up.

"So, what are you wearing now?" He chuckled, closing his eyes as her sweet laughter filled his ears and he could just imagine her laying in bed, imagining him and it made him feel close to her, close but not nearly as close as he longed to be.

"Andy, what on earth am I going to do with you?" Ruin laughed softly as she closed her eyes and settled into the pillows, inhaling his scent that still lingered on the pillowcase, wishing like crazy she was in his arms, her heart literally hurting from the distance.

"I have a few ideas." Came the deep voice on the other line and even as she grinned and rolled her eyes beneath her lids she couldn't help but squirm with need. Why did her husband's voice have to literally drip sex?

"Well… honestly I'm wearing that craptactular holey shirt I'd thrown in the trash pile." She purred back, her fingers moving to trace her skin that was exposed through the holes she'd complained of earlier. Even on her it was almost too tight, his sixteen year old frame no match for her curves. When she heard his chuckle she grinned and wiggled into the mattress on his side where she slept whenever he was gone.

"And what else?" Andy asked, hearing the smile in his tone even as she did. He hadn't been expecting that answer and it pleased him to not only know that his shirt was saved, but that she was wearing it…he could just imagine how it hugged her frame.

"Who said I was wearing anything else?" she purred in that sultry tone she knew would drive him crazy and when she heard his answering groan she couldn't help the satisfied smile that curved her lips. Sometimes having a sex god for a husband taught a girl a thing or too.


	2. Chapter 2

Andy quietly closed the door setting his luggage down next to the wall, his eyes adjusting to the dark with relative ease. It was a strange sensation, even still after three years, to come home to the smell of candles and fragrances that he'd never thought he'd like. He inhaled deeply and blinked at the scent of cookies that still lingered in the air. Lips curve into a sly smile as he makes his way into the kitchen, praying it wasn't an air freshener or oils. Damn things had already tricked him a time or too yet when his eyes landed on the tin foil covered plate he had to restrain himself from getting over excited. His wife had the most incredible hearing sometimes and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the surprise over cookies.

Gingerly he would lift the very edge of the foil and grinned like an idiot seeing the homemade treasure that awaited him. Slipping the nearest one free of its protective prison it would immediately be lifted to his mouth so he could place the foil back down and secure it with as little noise as possible. He could really use something to drink but he wasn't able to risk more noise than he already had. Biting down into the moist goodness he allowed himself a small moan before leaning against the bar to gaze out over the dark living room.

All around him he was surrounded by memories, some bad but mainly all good. Night's spent with the guys piled onto the couches and sprawled on the floor writing deep into the night. Night's with insane parties that went on into the next day. Hell, he still remembered picking up those god awful couches with Danny on one of their drunken wanderings. These were memories that he wanted to keep forever and it helped to be in the place where those memories were made. However, he also knew that he wanted to make so many more of those memories, memories he wanted to share with Ruin. In their own home, the way it should be.

He wanted to see a home, and though between Ruin and himself they had succeeded in turning the small space into more of one, it still had that "bachelor" feel to him. Perhaps, though, it was more the guilt that had been eating away at him since he'd last spoken to his wife. Even on the walls it was pictures of his life, his family not hers. He wasn't going to take all the blame for it, she could have easily put up some of her own but he understood why she felt like she couldn't. He hated seeing the visible reflection of her past right there in front of his eyes.

He'd started noticing things after the wedding, little things that had escaped his notice before. It wasn't all the time of course; for the most part his wife was that stubborn willful little kitten that he'd fallen in love with almost instantly. But there were moments; moments when she'd lower those eyes when she thought she'd displeased him. Moments where he knew she was matching her mood to his, letting his presence affect her in ways that he wished she wouldn't. He couldn't count on his hands anymore how many times he'd accidently scared her, the times he'd touch her in a certain way that had her flinching.

He knew from the beginning that she had a troubled past, he knew that there were going to be those moments where it came back to haunt her, he just hadn't anticipated how deeply it would hurt him to see it. It was one of the reasons he was so angry with himself for having not noticed that she'd never really unpacked here. He'd thought he'd got used to the little signs, yet here was something big and bold and right in his face and he'd totally missed it.

The night before he'd left the promotion tour he'd stopped in and had a conversation with Henry about it. As much as he loved Henry, as a brother and a friend, it still bothered him deeply that he was forced to come to the other man for help when it came to understanding his wife. Henry never rubbed it in his face, never once hinted that he would ever take advantage of that knowledge but he also would never give Andy truly straight answers. Henry held they're past tight to his chest and it wasn't that Andy didn't understand why, he just hated being left in the dark. He knew Henry was right in telling him that if Ruin wanted him to know she'd tell him, but damn it what if she never trusted him enough to tell him? Was he just supposed to spend the rest of his life going to the middle man?

Growling low in frustration he raised his free hand to rub at the bridge of his nose. Getting angry over this now would do him little good. He knew what he had to do, and sitting here in the dark complaining about it, even just in his own mind, wasn't going to get it done. Tossing the last bite of the cookie into his mouth he dusted the crumbs off his hands and smiled a slow smile that erased the dark expression that had stole over his features. No, it definitely wasn't the time to sit and ponder. Pushing himself off the bar he left his luggage downstairs and made his way up them, keeping his footsteps as light as possible so he wouldn't give off any warning sounds.

He knew he'd probably scare the shit out of her but he was praying he could pull this off without getting bashed in the face too badly. His lips curved into a smirk, telling himself that he wasn't almost looking forward to it, that he wasn't actually hoping he'd scare her enough to get her mad. Honestly he didn't even care how she reacted so long as he was home with her for the time they had been granted. Easing the bedroom door open he smiled as he took in the sight of her curled up on his side of the bed. He chuckled quietly thinking about their debate on who got which side of the bed. He'd finally won after an hour of heavy negotiations…course there was very little talking during those negotiations but damn had it been fun. He often times wondered if he'd won because he'd made a point of telling her that if they were ever broken in to he wanted to be the closest to the door to protect her, or if she'd just been so exhausted she hadn't been able to continue arguing. Either way it brought a smug smile to his lips thinking about it.

He made his way to the bed and as he stared down at her he nudged off his boots and rolled his shoulders to cause his jacket to slip down his arms. Tossing it to the chair in the corner he smirked as he watched her shift in her sleep, a soft little mew escaping past slightly parted lips. Even in the darkness he could see her in perfect detail, the way her lashes dusted her cheeks, the way those perfect lips moved just ever so slightly as she mumbled just barely at a whisper in her sleep. She reminded him of a child, the blankets tucked just beneath her chin, her small frame curled up as if trying to get warm, auburn hair spilling over the pillow. Gently he eased himself onto the little space that remained between where she lay and the edge of the bed, watching her features for any shift or change that would tell him she was waking up.

He waited for a moment, satisfied that she hadn't woken before he would place a palm behind her while the other rose to brush strands of her hair back away from her face. He watched her brows frown for a moment before they would smooth out once more making him grin. Still so sensitive. Leaning down he'd begin to place soft slow kisses along her features starting at those brows and working his way down, taking time to pay special attention to that upturned impish little nose of hers. He heard her soft sigh and could feel the flutter of her lashes as she slowly opened her eyes. She was still lost in the fog of sleep, struggling to clear it as his lips moved down to hers. He kept his movements slow, unthreatening as his lips dragged and pressed against hers, his hand now coming to rest against her cheek.

Ruin groaned and closed her eyes, her lips responding without thought, the familiar feel and taste of her husband sinking into her senses causing her to relax back into the pillows. She twisted onto her back, uncurling her legs to shift them aside to give him more room. Her hand rose from beneath the blankets to cup the back of his neck, using her hold to bring him down to deepen the kiss, groaning when he did. Small fingers would tangle into his hair as she opened her mouth to him, surrendering herself easily and readily in her sleep to the one person she'd ever wanted.

It was the flick of his tongue against her own that slowly brought her to awareness. Her eyes would open again, this time swiftly and with immediate widening. Her fingers clenched almost painfully in his hair as she forced him back, her other hand pressing on his chest as she struggled to find her breath that had suddenly been stolen from her.

"Andy?" She felt his chuckle more than heard it. His head shook despite the hold she had on his hair and she'd feel his lips press against hers once more for but a moment before he would lean back enough to allow her to fully take in his presence.

"Is this how you welcome all strange men who sneak into your room and begin to molest you?" he asked with a tease, watching with amusement as she struggled to make sense of everything. It took a moment and a huff of breath before realization finally struck her of what exactly was going on.

With a squeal of delight she tossed her arms around him with a cry of his name and pulled him down as tightly to her as possible. "Andy! What are you doing here? When did you get back? Is everything okay?" she asked the last pushing him back just enough so she could look him over, checking him for any broken bones or injuries he might have sustained. Perhaps some might consider it over reacting but most people didn't have a husband with the record of broken limbs as her husband.

Andy chuckled and shook his head capturing her hands easily as they began to poke and prod looking for anything that might be out of place. "Well even if I were broken, you poking around wouldn't exactly feel too good babe." He teased, laughing down at her as her bottom lip pouted out forcing him to bend and brush her lips with his, kissing the pout away before leaning back. "I'm fine Kitten; I took some time off and could think of no where I'd rather be."

Ruin smiled brightly at his words, hadn't she just been wishing before she'd fallen asleep that he was there to hold her and keep the nightmares at bay? She pulled her hands free of his hold and once again brought them up to reach for him, guiding him back down to her lips, this time groaning as he shifted and moved to join her in bed. Her fingers tangled into his dark hair while his own hands busied themselves with tugging the blanket from between them as he stretched himself over her.

Her lips curved into another grin as she heard his groan as he discovered her in his shirt, having grown fond of sleeping in the torn garment. She felt the shudder his body gave all along her frame making her give a delighted giggle. "See something you like Mr. Biersack?"

"I've been imagining this for damn near forty eight hours straight. Yes, Mrs. Biersack, I think it is safe to say that I fucking love what I'm seeing right now." He smiled devilishly at her before lowering himself down in the bed just slightly so he could place his lips against the flesh that was peeking free of the wholes. When she hissed in pleasure and twisted her hips Andy smirked before delivering a light little nip to the skin, chuckling as she jerked beneath his touch.

"Not that I'd particularly argue about it right now," she groaned, her voice having grown husky from his attentions, "but this had better not be just a booty call." The last word ended on a gasp as he set up abruptly there between her legs and grabbed his shirt tugging it over his head before tossing it over the side. Her hands immediately stretched out, letting her fingertips trail over his chest and lower to curve around his hips and press into the small of his back as he came down over her once more, his lips a mere whisper from hers.

"Oh no Kitten, that would just be a tease. I'm here for a week, longer if I need to be to get everything done." His deep voice practically rumbled through her making her body react in the most exciting ways. She pressed her nails into his flesh, enjoying the feeling of him arching into her as his groan danced on her lips. Her own would curve, thrilled with the idea of having him with her for a few days at least but on further thinking of his words she paused and leaned back pressing her head into the pillow to be able to look at him.

"Wait…to get what done?" One eyebrow would raise in question but the expression would only last for a second before those eyes of hers would close and her head would fall to the side as his lips made a path down her jaw line to her throat, his teeth nipping against the skin, enjoying the way her pulse jumped beneath his touch.

"Oh, nothing much. Just got a few realtors to talk too, houses that we're going to have to go look at and god then there's the furniture shopping. I warn you now; I see one item of furniture pink I swear to god…"

"Andy what the hell are you talking about?" Ruin interrupted, no longer able to ignore the conversation for the pleasant feelings he so expertly wielded over her. When he merely chuckled and continued to torment her neck, moving up to play with her ear she fought off a shudder and brought her hands up from his back to press on his shoulders till he raised up a little and she could meet his gaze once more.

"Andy…what did you do?" she asked confused on many levels and also a little overwhelmed. Who would have ever guessed she'd be woken up to all this and be expected to comprehend? Miracles, he was demanding miracles from her, that's all there was too it. Even now with curiosity eating away at her, it was so hard to not simply say screw it and drag him back down and loose herself to the embrace of her husband.

"Honestly, I haven't done anything…yet. Tomorrow we're meeting with a realtor to put together a list of what we're looking for, what we'd like to have and then she or he is going to help us find a house. And we're going to find a house, one that's just not my house or your house, but our house. I want to see my in-laws on our walls; I want to see your crazy art cluttering up the shelves. I want to see furniture that we both picked out. I want to see my wife in every room we own. I want my wife to feel at home in her own home."

Ruin lay there a moment, listening in silence as his words came down to her in the darkness of the room. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but that certainly wasn't it. Instantly she wanted to shake her head, to deny that she didn't feel like this was her home but before she could she felt Andy's lips close over hers silencing any further comments. She smiled against his lips, her arms wrapping completely around him now, sliding her fingers deep into his hair. She knew his tactic, after all he'd used it on her repeatedly throughout the last three years, but she gave in this time allowing him to shut her up.

When finally he pulled back just enough to allow them air she cupped his face tenderly with her free hand, stroking the flesh with her thumb as her eyes drank in the sight of him. "Thank you Andy." She finally whispered, since she was finally allowed too.

"Hmm, nice to see you not putting up an argument for a change. Your welcome kitten. Any time." He grinned before he lowered himself once more and claimed her lips passionately, the time for talking concluded. He hadn't held her in his arms, hadn't felt her surrounding him in what felt like forever. He was done talking; now his sole purpose was to make up for time lost. He knew she was dying for details or well she might have been before he'd distracted her so completely, but he'd fill her in come the morning. For right now he just wanted to have this moment with her without any thoughts or questions getting in the way. He drank in the sound of her laughter caused by his teasing and then smiled against her lips as he felt her surrender completely. "Good girl."


	3. Chapter 3

-Authors Note-

For everyone who has waited patiently for chapter 3 I apologize for the delay. Living arrangements have changed and it is messing up my writing time, not to mention I'm unable to get to on my work computer now -.- booo. But I'll try to figure out something to get these too you faster!

Chapter 3

Andy woke with a low groan and a roll onto his back. The sun was shining brightly through his window and right into his closed eyes making him even more reluctant to open them. He still felt like he could sleep forever, nothing was ever as comfortable as your own bed, but there was something particular missing that was forcing his eyes open to look to the empty space beside him. Frowning, seeing his morning plans being disrupted, he rose from the bed and looked around the room, peeking into the bathroom to see if she was there. It was then he'd hear the music coming from downstairs and smiled. The woman shouldn't have even been able to move, let alone get up and around without him realizing it. It just went to show how tired he was he supposed.

Sliding into some jeans he didn't bother fastening he barely raked a hand through his tussled hair before making his way downstairs to see what his wife was up too. He was half way down the stairs when he smelt the first wave of breakfast hit his nose making his stomach grumble and his eyes roll closed at the delicious aroma. Mark that as another item on his list of things he missed when he was on tour, his wife's cooking. As he made his way to the kitchen entry he smirked and leaned against the wall so he could watch her move and wiggle to the music that was playing low from the kitchen radio. It had taken some time to get used to Ruin's taste of music, country had never been to his liking, but at the moment some Johnny Cash was playing so he wasn't about to complain. Now if it started playing some Taylor Swift they might have a problem.

God he loved to watch her, it didn't matter what she was doing or how she was doing it, there was just something about her that demanded and captured his attention, even from the very beginning. Even after three years the memory of their first meeting was as strong now as it had been just days after. He'd gotten bored of the guy's nonsense and had moved ahead of them, reluctant but curious to see who the photographer was that John had promised was beyond amazing. He could still feel it even now as he watched her, the electricity that had burst over his senses when he'd first seen her there. Sitting on her suitcase, fiddling with her scarf, glaring daggers at the blond she was a sight to behold. All that auburn hair had made his fingers clench into a fist just as it did now, longing to be buried in the silk. There was this inner glow that seemed to radiate from her, one he still couldn't give a name too but it had drawn him in making it impossible for him not to look, to touch.

Smiling he moved away from the wall and made his way quietly behind her while she was distracted with rinsing out a dish. Andy slipped his arms around her pulling her in close while his lips settled on the shell of her ear, laughing as he felt her jump and hiss at him before she'd relax into his hold with a rush of released breath.

"Andy! You scared the dickens out of me!" she gripped, a hand lowering to slap playfully at his hands as they settled low on her stomach. She couldn't believe he'd been able to sneak up on her like that but then again she should be used to it. For some reason everyone, especially her husband, enjoyed scarring her far too much for her liking.

"Can't a husband just greet his wife good morning?" he grinned as he nipped at the flesh of her ear before trailing his lips down her neck, pulling her deeper into his embrace, letting her feel him pressing there against her. Her little shocked gasp had him chuckling. "You should be lucky a little scare is all the punishment you get for not sticking around and letting me wake up properly."

Ruin couldn't help but blush as she felt him roll his hips purposefully, letting her feel just what exactly had woken up unattended. Shaking her head slightly so she didn't disrupt his play along her neck; she grinned and reached behind her to cup him and give a little squeeze.

"But I made you breakfast," she purrs softly and turns her head so that her lips can brush against his temple as she speaks, "shouldn't that be considered a proper wake up?" she teased, giggling at his growl for an answer and the slide of his hand down her tummy towards the apex of her thighs. "Guess that's a no then?" she questioned with a laugh. She felt her insides tense and grow warm as he began to slowly inch her dress up, arms holding her captive where he wanted her. His other hand would move up just a couple inches and cupped her breast in his palm making her groan and push her hips back against him, feeling his chuckle against her bare shoulder as his teeth gathered the little strap and pulled it down and to the side before he'd speak.

"Definitely a no, I'd much rather have you for breakfast." He grinned and was just about to slide his hand into her panties when they heard the phone ring. Andy growled low and lowered his forehead to her shoulder giving it a shake while she giggled and tried to escape his hold to answer it but he refused. "Whoever it is they can go to hell. I'm sick and tired of being interrupted by a damn phone."

"Andy it could be important…Andy!" she squealed as he slipped his hand inside, her legs instantly coming together to try and halt his process even while trying desperately to ignore the pleasure as he skimmed his fingers over her slit. She was laughing and slapping at his hand with one of hers while the other was trying to outreach him for the phone, "Andrew Dennis!" she tried the middle name with absolutely no success. She was about to give up when they both paused hearing the beep of the answering machine as it kicked on.

"Alright," he panted from their playful struggle. "If it's important I'll behave, if it's not then you behave…deal?"

"I am being behaved!" she yelled with a laugh as she gave another wiggle to try and get free but his strength simply out powered hers and finally she was left with no choice but to give a sigh of defeat and relax in the hold. "Fine, fine, fine."

"Good girl." Andy chuckled and eased his hold even though his hand tried to squirm itself back between her thighs only to be slapped away with a quiet hiss from his wife. Damn woman was going to be the death of him he swore but then they both froze as the person on the other line began to leave their message.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Biersack, this is Lana Smith from Paradise Realtors. I just wanted to confirm…" with a sigh Andy would give his wife a glare and release her completely before he'd make his way over to pick up the phone from the receiver while she danced her way back over to the table to make sure everything was in place.

"Ms. Smith, hello this is Andy, sorry about that my wife wouldn't let me get to the phone." He added with a smug smile to the outraged gasp from the table. He failed miserably at fighting back a chuckle as she tossed a towel and hit him in the face with it, sunflower field eyes glaring daggers at him to which he'd blow a kiss.

"That's perfectly alright Mr. Biersack. I was just calling to confirm our appointment at ten this morning?" she asked with amusement evident in her voice, it was obvious that she didn't believe him for one second. He personally blamed female DNA for that.

"Yea, we'll be there. Ten am sharp. Is there anything that we need to bring with us?" he asked while he raised a hand to his wife's smug face and flipped her off making her snort in laughter. She was just a little too damn pleased with herself in his opinion.

"No, it looks like your manager John sent in all the required information; I'll see you at ten then Mr. Biersack." Andy gave a minor sound for his goodbye and slowly hung up the phone, his eyes meeting Ruin's across the table, hers widened with growing alarm at the expression on his face.

"Run." It was his only warning and with a squeal she took it and ran down the hall. Andy gave her a couple seconds of a head start before he'd give a howl and chased after her, her laughter floating back to his ears teasing and spurring him on.

~Two hours later~

Ruin sat with her feet on the dashboard, a notebook in her lap and a pencil tapping against her lips as they drove towards the realtor's office. Breakfast had ended up a rushed affair, having spent far too long appeasing other appetites but they had at least started out of the house with enough time that they wouldn't be late. For once the radio wasn't blaring and her husband wasn't singing at the top of his lungs, instead he had his hand resting quietly on her thigh as they went over their list of wants and must haves.

"What about fireplaces?" she asked curiously, her head tilting from one side to the other as she contemplated whether it was worth paying a little more for something that they might never actually use. Still, quiet nights in front of flickering flames danced within her mind. She could just see a nice soft fur rug placed before the fireplace, glasses of wine with soft romantic music playing. She couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped her at the vision.

Andy chuckled watching her dreamy expression and shook his head quietly to himself. His wife couldn't help but be a romantic at heart and he didn't care how much it cost them to have the things she longed for, she deserved the very best and he would make damn sure she got it. "I think it would be nice, maybe we can get something a little higher up in the mountains rather than just in L.A, get a little snow and be able to light the fireplace."

"But don't you need to be in L.A for work? The drive in is impossible, you'd be late for everything or have to leave two hours early just to make it on time. It isn't worth it." She shook her head as if the very thought of doing something like that was ridiculous. The last thing she wanted to do was make things difficult for him. She glanced over though when she felt his hand squeeze her thigh and though he didn't take his eyes off the road other than to glance at her, she felt as if he were staring straight at her.

"You're going to have to stop that baby. If I suggest something, it's not just to give in to you; maybe I'd like to live out of L.A. So what if it makes the drive in a little bit more difficult, people do it all the time every day and they survive it. This house isn't just mine and it isn't just yours. I want it to be perfect for the both of us. So stop worrying so much about me, I'm not going to suggest something if I'm not prepared to live with it."

Ruin sighed softly but smiled as she gave a soft nod. "I know I'm sorry old habits are just hard to break. I just don't want to make things difficult for you. I just…" she sighed softly and turned her gaze out the window to watch the passing scenery unable to put her thoughts into the proper words, ones that wouldn't start an argument but would let him know what it was that was bothering her.

Andy watched her from the corner of his eye and gave his own sigh before he'd give her thigh another squeeze. Three years they'd been together and there was still so much of her past that was left in shadows. Slowly she was releasing little bits of the past to him but not as much as he wished she would, but the one thing he had learned was to note which reactions were conditioned and which were her honest thoughts and feelings. What he saw now was conditioning and it infuriated him to no end when he saw the full effects of what her past did to her, and the hold it still had over her. He was never mad at her though, he knew it was something that she couldn't help but she was honestly working on it and he was so damn proud of her for that.

"Don't want to do anything or say anything that would make me leave you," he finished for her and offered her a smile when he felt her eyes race over to his. "Don't look so surprised, believe it or not I do actually pay attention, especially to your fears. I know that no matter how many times I say it, you're never going to fully believe it. It's just something I'm going to have to prove but I vowed to you that I would never leave you and I meant it. There is nothing that you could do, short of killing me that would make me leave. Even cheating, we'd work it out somehow. I love you that is all that matters. So I know it's hard but you've got to stop worrying so much."

Ruin laughed softly even as she raised a hand to wipe at the corner of her eye to remove a stray tear before she'd lower that hand to rest and lace it's fingers through his on her thigh giving it a squeeze. "I know, I'm trying I promise."

"I know baby. Let's just forget about it for now and have a good day okay? We're house shopping. We should be excited…well you should be excited, I'm supposed to be dragging my feet and whining like a man." He teased her and smiled when she laughed giving a roll of her eyes at him.

"Please, if it has anything that would remotely work as a bat cave it doesn't matter what it looks like, what it has or what I want. " she laughed softly and began to write down a few other things that she would really like to see in their house. Now that they'd had the little talk she felt a little better about putting things down and now that she was being honest with herself she realized just how badly she'd love to live out of LA. and up further towards the mountains.

"I didn't think of that!" he yelled and released her hand long enough to point at the paper on his side of demands. "Bat cave…right there!" when he merely smirked and shook her head he poked the paper once more. "Hey!" finally she laughed and wrote down den instead.

"Baby it might be L.A. but I highly doubt any house would have an actual bat cave." She lowered her feet from the dash and slipped into her flats while he put the car in park in front of the office, her eyes dancing at the pout that was fast forming on his lips. When her shoes were on she'd turn in her seat and tossed her arms around his neck. "Aww don't pout. I'll help you turn it into your very own bat cave. Promise." She grinned

"I'll hold you to that." He grinned and leaned in to taste her lips one last time before they would be forced to get serious. "Memorabilia and everything." He warned against the soft petals, drinking in her laughter as she returned the kiss before leaning back just a little to grin into his eyes.

"I'll even get a sexy cat suit for ya." She winked and slipped from his hold and the car before he could get that enticing little image out of his head. He quickly came around to join her and placed his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close to his side.

"You really don't know the door you just opened." He warned her with a shake of his head, grinning like a fool as she merely grinned and purred softly for him making him force back a groan. Just as he opened the door to the office and let her move ahead he'd give her a quick little spat on the ass making her gasp and spin around while he made his way inside smiling devilishly new plans for the day already forming in his brain. Oh…this would be fun.

As if she could see the wicked thoughts playing she'd give him a warning glare and shake of her head to which he would blissfully ignore. Instead he'd guide her over to the elderly woman he knew to be Ms. Smith and offered the woman his hand.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Biersack are we ready to look at some property today?" she asked with a polite and eager smile on her face.

When she motioned them to take a seat while she went and got their file Andy would lean over and whisper into her ear, "Ready for another adventure Mrs. Biersack?" he laughed softly making her grin despite herself.

"Every day with you is an adventure Mr. Biersack. A girl has to either adapt or die." She giggled and smiled as he stole a brief kiss before Mr. Smith would return, offering her a playful wink before they settled their attention on the wants and needs of their new home.


	4. Chapter 4

Andy quietly leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest as he gazed at Ruin. They had been through four houses so far and both had found them lacking. What exactly they were lacking neither could fully express to the realtor, more a feeling than an actual fact. He imagined the older woman had been about to pull her hair out in frustration with the both of them, honestly he didn't blame her. It was by sheer luck that they had stumbled upon the house they were in now. Thanks to the failure of the GPS they had ended up making a wrong turn and had seen it there at the end of the long winding drive. Even from the distance it had called to the both of them and when they'd asked if they could take a look around he was sure the older woman was convinced they had lost their minds.

She'd made a few calls, argued and threatened until finally the company the house was under had given the code to the lock so they could explore. It was falling apart, even he knew that, but what it lacked in sparkle it made up for in character. Hell he wouldn't even care if it was just some run down shack, the way his kitten's eyes lit up as she turned the knob was all the encouragement he needed. Thankfully the inside was in better condition than he would have thought. He'd laughed as she spun around in the large kitchen already forming plans of where this would go and where that would sit. When she noticed the window over the sink that faced the massive back yard she squealed and clapped her hands in delight making him chuckle. He hadn't seen her this happy…well honestly he had never seen her so happy. It was all the confirmation he needed that this was the right choice for them.

When she breezed past him to gain access to the dining room the sparkle in her eyes was brighter than any diamond. He didn't need her to tell him that she wanted the house, she didn't need to say anything, he on the other hand did. Turning away from her he made his way over to Mrs. Smith and smiled warmly to her.

"I apologize for this, I know we've put you through the ringer today." He apologized politely, hoping to charm himself back into her good graces so he'd be able to make this move as swiftly and easily as possible. Before he could say more she smiled and waved a hand for him to silence himself.

"I'll admit I was getting a little frustrated, but I have to also admit that I've never in all my years of selling houses, seen anyone fall in love so hard and swift as that little girl in there. I got into this business to sell people their dream homes. I used to imagine the family that would buy them, what life they would create in them. But after so many years of people tearing down the charm and replacing them with coldness, well I guess I joined them. Your wife…I've waited a long time for this moment." She said with a watery smile and even as she blinked rapidly he saw a tear fall along her weathered cheek.

Shifting he pulled a tissue from his pocket that had remained since the last chick flick he'd been forced to watch with his water works wife and handed it kindly to woman. "Believe me, I know the feeling. She has that affect on a lot of people." He added the last with a chuckle.

"Thank you." She smiled and used the tip to wipe at the corner of her eye, her eyes trained on the girl that would dance past a doorway every once in awhile, exploring the downstairs. "How long have you two been married?" she questioned out of curiosity.

Andy smiled again and leaned against the counter next to the woman. "Only a year. It's odd though, some days it feels as if I've known her forever then the next it's like the last three years were more like three days. She constantly surprises me. Just when I think I've got her down she changes the game on me." His brows drew together and his lips turned down into an amused frown. "Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad."

"Good, definitely a good thing." She smiled wistfully and gave a soft sigh that had one of his brows rising in question which caused her to laugh softly. "I knew a young man once, back when I was just a young thing. He was like the sun had sent a bit of its light down and placed it right into him. He always wanted to laugh, always up to something." She paused as she got lost in her memories before continuing. "He was my best friend, my confidant, my everything."

"What happened to him?" he asked curiously, hoping he wasn't over stepping himself by asking.

"He asked me to run away with him, I was young and when my daddy found out and forbid me to see him I listened. I thought he was right, that we were too young, that he'd get bored eventually. I wanted to go to college and see the world. When I told him, he said that he'd wait for me."

"And did he?" Andy asked again, afraid of the answer, the sadness in the woman's eyes telling him the story didn't end well.

"He didn't get the chance. I was away at college when the draft happened. I didn't even get word he was going till he was already gone. I was devastated; I hated myself for not running with him while I could. When news came back that he didn't make it, I thought I wouldn't either. Of course I did, had a good life too. Got married and had three wonderful children, but as much as I loved Charlie, he wasn't and could never be Logan. I'd met my soul mate and I'd lost him. You don't really ever get over that. You move on, live your life to the best you can but it's never the same. There's always a part of you missing." By the time she was done she had to use the other side of the tissue.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Andy gently added as he lifted a hand and placed it warmly on her shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze. He might not know the woman but his mother had raised him right and he hated seeing a woman cry, especially over something that hit too close to home. He couldn't help but think to himself all the what ifs. What if she hadn't agreed to marry him? What if they hadn't gotten to Heather and her cronies in time? Andy would raise his free hand and rubbed at the spot where his heart ached in his chest at the mere thought.

"Oh, don't let this old woman's story bring you down. Why don't you go find you're …what did you call her again?" she paused to question.

Andy laughed and shook his head. "Kitten." He answered with a smile watching the older woman's eyes sparkle when she heard the nickname.

"Ah yes that's it. Well why don't you go find you're Kitten and I'll talk to the finance company and get all the papers drawn up so you can get this done a sap?"

Smiling Andy leaned and actually hugged the woman to him causing her to gasp in surprise before she laughed softly and returned the hug. After being shooed away he turned and made his way up the stairs where he'd last seen her flutter by. He was surprised at how many bedrooms were actually up there, the house having not looked nearly as big as it actually was from the outside. Already he knew what two of those rooms would be, his office and her black room. He loved the fact that there was enough space for both of them to be able to work comfortably here. He found her in a small little room at the end of the hall, standing before a large bay window that overlooked what used to be the gardens.

Andy stood there a moment simply watching her, bathed in the light from the windows. There was soft, secret little smile playing on her lips as her fingers traced the window glass in small patterns. It made him want to know what she was thinking, wanted to know what it was that created that little smile he'd never seen before. Stepping into the room he made his way behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back into him. His chin would rest against the top of her head while he felt her hands draw his arms tighter around her, a smile touching his own lips now when he heard her sigh with such contentment.

"And what are you thinking about with such a secret smile Mrs. Biersack?" he questioned as he would tilt his head and brush his lips against the delicate shell of her ear. When her eyes closed and her head fell slightly to the side he would take the silent permission and draw his lips in soft kisses along her slender throat.

"Hmm, well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret now would it?" Ruin teased, a soft purr escaping as his teeth lightly nipped at the flesh there. She didn't even know where to begin, how to put into words all that she was feeling, had been feeling since the moment she'd crossed the threshold of the house. She was almost afraid to even speak it, afraid it would all disappear as soon as she did. It was just too much, she couldn't possibly be expected to believe that not only was she going to spend the rest of her life with the man of her dreams, but to do so in such a house, her dream house…surely that was asking too much.

"True, but I believe I've promised to spend the rest of my life being your secret keeper." He grinned against her flesh and hugged her tighter to him before he'd once again settle himself with her tucked safely under his chin.

"I love this house Andy, I know it's nothing close to your style and it's definitely not the rock star pad but I love it. It's like…like I can feel it breathing around me, calling to me. I can see it all so clearly, the way it will look when we're done. The only thing I've ever wanted more…was you." Opening her eyes she slowly turned in his arms. Her hands came to rest on his chest, her left hand resting right where he'd rubbed earlier.

He noticed the way she wouldn't meet his eyes, knew without her saying anything that she was preparing herself to be let down, for him to give any of the hundreds of reasons why they shouldn't buy this house. Instead he would reach to capture her chin and slowly bring her eyes up to his, his thumb stroking tenderly over her skin. "I believe I also promised to spend the rest of my life and yours making you happy did I not? Your wish is my command."

"But Andy if you don't like it then we shouldn't…" Her words were halted by the soft press of his lips to hers, silencing her attempts of speech. Sighing softly she allowed herself to melt against him and move her lips beneath his returning the kiss meant to shut her up with a smile curving the corners. She should really stop him of this habit he seemed to have but at the moment the slow loving glide of his mouth distracted her. When finally he would raise his head it would take a moment for her to blink her eyes open and slip from beneath the warm haze he'd put her in. His lips curved into a smug masculine smile that would have got him at least a light smack but when it was so well deserved what was a girl to do. At least she hadn't kicked her heel back.

"I love the house Kitten but more importantly I love the fact that you love it. Mrs. Smith is already getting everything ready and if I know her and Jon we'll be able to sign shortly and then, Mrs. Biersack you will have the keys in your hand."

"Hey wait! Andy you can't buy this house all on your own, I have my own money too!" she exclaimed suddenly but before she could finish his laugh made her pause and frown up at him. She was seriously upset and the fact he could tell and only laughed made it worse. Finally Andy would calm his amusement and reached to draw a finger along her nose giving the tip a light tap.

"I know you do Kitten but I want to do this, for you. I want to give you all of your dreams." He smiled and when she parted her lips to argue he used the finger he'd traced her nose with to let it rest on her lips silencing her. "You can pay for the renovations and the furniture, deal?" He offered and smirked when he saw her give a silent nod though her eyes were still narrowed as if she wanted to argue. Deciding that distraction was the answer he spun her suddenly until they were back in their original positions gazing out the window making her laugh in surprise.

"Alright so I heard all or at least most the plans for the rest of the house, what is this room going to be? Art room? Small library, cause lord knows you have enough books." He teased with a chuckle earning him a slight pinch on his arm before he'd feel her shake her head causing strands of hair to get caught in the slight stubble he'd forgotten to shave smooth that morning.

"I know you're not talking with all your comic books." She teased back at him and at his scoff she'd giggle, bringing his arms even tighter around her. Having him here with her was honestly the best gift he could ever give her, even more so than the house. She'd needed him and without even saying a word he'd felt it and he came. He'd never know how much that meant to her.

"They are graphic novels woman, and your numbers still outweigh mine." He corrected and before she could respond she'd feel a sharp little nip at her ear making her jump and gasp before his words would cause her to squirm and shift nervously. "Now, tell me."

Sighing, wishing he'd just let it go but knowing his stubbornness she knew he wouldn't. So instead of trying to distract and waste both their time she finally gave in, her cheeks warm with shy embarrassment. "I want it to be the nursery." She practically whispered the words, afraid of his reaction.

Andy froze for a moment and it was as if time stood still. He knew she was waiting on his response but no matter how hard he tried to get his brain to come up with something, anything, it just refused and kept stumbling over the word nursery. It wasn't that he didn't want kids, hell he actually liked kids, but he wasn't ready and he didn't think they were ready. He wanted her all to himself for a little while longer. On the other hand, the very idea of having a child with her filled him with such want and joy. He wanted to see a little boy or girl with their features joined eternally.

"Andy…" she tried to turn but his arms kept her locked in place. Sighing she lowered her head and felt tears stinging the back of her eyes. She'd tried to keep from saying it out loud, she knew he wasn't ready to even entertain the idea of kids and here she was trying to pick out a room just for those imaginary little beings.

"Are you?" Andy couldn't even get the word pregnant out. It was as if his tongue absolutely refused to even entertain the notion of saying it even as his hand would lower from her arm and came to rest against her stomach. He tried to determine if there was a difference, how he'd missed it last night and even this morning but he felt no change and that at least made him feel a little better.

"Andy," she smiled softly and lowered her hand to rest atop his against her stomach, "as much as I'd love nothing more than to be the mother of your child, I don't think now is exactly the right time. I just meant for later…down the road." She would try to turn again and this time he allowed it. Her eyes blinked at the look of disappointment that was on his features, the last expression she expected to see there. He must have seen her surprise and felt himself ducking his head a little.

"I don't know," he didn't bother trying to hide the fact he knew what she'd seen, "at first I was scared shitless, and I felt selfish because I didn't want to share you. But then I imagined it, a little boy or a little girl who looked like her mother." Andy smiled and shook his head at himself. "For a moment it didn't seem like such a bad thing at all." He whispered and turned his gaze down to where their hands still lay against her stomach.

Following his line of sight she smiled softly and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "And it won't be a bad thing when it really does happen. I want to have your children Andy, I want to so badly it hurts. But even I know that now isn't the time, there's still so much to do and we're both still learning how to juggle career and married life. That being said though, "She smiled and raised her arms to settle her hands at the nape of his neck, hugging herself tightly to him. "I love the fact that you want them enough to be disappointed. And when it does happen I know I won't have to be scared of telling you. When it does happen it will be okay, and believe me a woman definitely needs to know that." She smiled softly.

Andy breathed her in, the scent of lilies flowing through him soothing him almost immediately. His hands fell to rest at the small of her back, fingers lightly stroking the flesh there beneath her summer dress. "Well then I'm glad I could be of service." He grinned and bent his head to capture her lips in a loving embrace before he'd lean back to rub his nose against hers, resting their foreheads together.

"Let's go see if she's got those papers drawn up shall we?" she grinned and bounced up to brush her lips against his once more before she danced out of his arms and to the door, stopping when she got there to hold her hand out for him with a tender smile upon her lips.

Andy took a moment to simply take her in; unable to fully understand how his life had turned itself so far off the track of what he thought he'd wanted to what he truly needed. Pushing himself forward he joined her and slid his hand into hers, lifting it to bring up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her open palm, "As you wish." Before they turned to leave Andy would use his other hand to ease the door closed. Once it was shut he would place his hand lightly on the wood, as if he were loath to leave it just yet. When he felt the squeeze to his hand he turned to look into the understanding eyes of his wife.

"I know baby, I know." She raised her own free hand and laid it briefly atop his before raising it up further to cup his cheek, stroking the flesh with her thumb. "Someday." She promised and it caused both of their lips to curve into smiles. As he lowered his hand from the door Andy would wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her into his side, kissing her temple before they made their way down the hallway and towards the stairs to meet up with the realtor, leaving the promise of someday heavy in the air before the room of hope and love.


	5. Chapter 5

Ruin fell limply back onto the sofa and stared at all of the boxes that surrounded her. There was nothing but a sea of cardboard as far as the eye could see and it was daunting to say the least, but even exhausted as she was she couldn't stop smiling. They'd done it, they had actually moved the last of the boxes from the old apartment, said the last goodbye to single life and separate lives. Even now she could hear Andy's voice coming from his office, talking to Jon to let him know the process of the house and to get his schedule.

He'd be leaving to rejoin the band in a week to finish up the promotion tour and even though she knew she should be grateful to have had the last two weeks with him she couldn't help being a bit greedy. Even with the two weeks it felt as if they'd been moving every second of it and had gotten to spend hardly any time together. Sighing, she rolled her eyes at herself and shook off her complaints, forcing herself to sit up and look to the mess around her to determine where to start first.

"Forget it tonight, let's just order in and pretend we don't have all this waiting for us in the morning." Andy groaned as he fell over the arm of the couch so that his head landed in her lap as he settled with closed eyes and a pained expression that had her smirking.

"So we're going with denial then?" she asked playfully, her back settling against the cushions, her hand lowering to glide her fingers through his silky hair. She remembered when she'd seen the first pictures of his hair cut when he'd still been dating Juliet, how everyone had made such a huge deal about it. Truthfully, she thought it looked a hell of a lot better now than it had before. She must have been wrinkling her nose because soon she felt his fingertip tapping the tip making her grin despite herself.

"What's got the wrinkles going?" Andy asked; amusement deep in his voice as he stared up at her from his place atop of her legs. Knowing her it could literally be anything, she was constantly surprising him with just where all her mind could skip too in the span of seconds.

"I was thinking about your hair before you cut it actually." She wrinkled her nose again, purposefully this time making the lines deeper as she shook her head sadly. "It was like…the worst 80's hair. You know…there is a reason they stopped with all that hairspray shit back in the day." She teased him only to gasp out when he turned his head and nipped at her stomach making her jump in surprise before giggling as his stubble tickled at her sensitive flesh, his breath warm and teasing as he spoke against her.

"Hey I already admitted it was disgusting, it's why I cut it, don't need you rubbing it in." he growled against her sending vibrations through her, a smile forming on his lips as he felt her stomach quiver beneath his lips knowing she could no more help her reactions to him than he could her.

"Aw but I thought you enjoyed it when I rubbed?" she purred playfully only to squeal as he bit into her skin making her jump beneath him and swat at his shoulder. "Hey! No biting!" she growled only to end up laughing as he sat up briefly, long enough to grab her legs and jerk her swiftly until she was flat on her back on the cushions with him settled between her thighs.

"And I thought you enjoyed my biting." He grinned down at her before lowering his torso to rest against hers, his lips finding purchase on her slender neck making her groan and squirm beneath him as his teeth lightly raked over her skin.

Ruin's eyes would roll in pleasure as her tongue would drag across her dry lips, her breath leaving her in a pant as she found her arms being raised above her head, her fingers clasped between his so he could keep her pinned as he wished. "I um…" she breaks off on a whimper, his teeth sinking into the flesh over her racing pulse, her hips jerk upwards in sharp response sending every thought she'd previously had blissfully out of her head, " uh…what were we talking about?" she finished lamely, not even concerned about her husband's amused chuckle against her throat. He really was far too good at this whole making her shut up thing.

"I think," he paused his statement to trail his tongue along that pulse line, feeling the skips of her heart before he'd lean back slightly to look at the damp skin left in his wake before pushing his lips to blow gently along the line, blue eyes dancing as he watched goosebumps rise on her flesh, "that we were actually supposed to be finding something to eat."

At the mention of food her stomach decided then to rumble rather noisily causing her to blush as he finally leaned back on his knees and allowed her to view the rest of the world along with his arrogant smirk. Rolling her eyes she used her recently released hands to give his chest a shove before sitting back up with a huff. "One of these days Andrew Dennis I'm going to wipe that smirk of yours right off your face." She assured him with a firm nod.

"I doubt it Kitten, but please feel free to try. So what are you in the mood for?" he questioned and jumped from the sofa to leave her there with those narrowed eyes and moved off to the kitchen where they had purposefully placed all the delivery menu's they'd been surviving on for the last week.

"How's painfully castrated husband sound? I hear they have a special, something about dull wooden spoon." Ruin grumbled from the couch, raising her hands to gather her hair to pull it up into a messy bun as she rises to join him in the kitchen. She slips behind him to rest her chin on his shoulder blade, her arms coming around to circle his waist as she leans against him, feeling his chuckle throughout her body making her smile.

"Hmm, well unfortunately that's not on any of these menu's guess we'll just have to pick something else, didn't sound all that appealing anyway." He added as he went through the menu's, discarding one after another as it all sounded the same and all equally unappealing.

"Really, sounded rather good to me." She grins and leans forward a bit to nip at his shoulder through his sleeveless band shirt before noting he was on the last menu and still had that look of disdain on his features. Laughing softly she reached and grabbed the paper from him to discard with the others on the counter. "Let's just go out, I mean nothing fancy or anything. Hell McD's almost sounds good, I'm starving and you're taking your sweet ass time to decide."

"I'll remind you of that when your spending thirty minutes in the bathroom afterwards." He laughs only to laugh harder as she gives a painful pinch to his sides before stepping from behind him to give him a glare as she snatches the keys up from the counter.

"We are still in year one of marriage Andy, your still not allowed to speak of such things…you are to believe that girls, especially your wife, don't even use the restroom other than to do makeup." She lifted her chin into the air and began to walk towards the door with him following after, blissfully ignoring his laughter that only continued with her words.

"Sure babe, whatever you say…so McD's it is?" he asked with a wicked smirk, blue orbs dancing with deviltry as she stopped as her hand closed around the handle of the door at his question and even though she didn't look his way, he knew she was narrowing her eyes spitefully at him.

"I hate you." She growled and opened the door only to try and close it on him, which he easily caught and slipped out from around to close and lock behind them.

"No you don't, you adore me and love me to no end." He corrected smugly, dropping an arm over her shoulder as he jogged to join her. He could feel her trying to remain tense beneath his arm but he knew it wouldn't last long; she never could keep up her pretense for very long.

"That's just what I tell you so you don't suspect the teardrops in your coffee." She purred and tilted her head up to smile brightly at him which had him rolling his eyes, adoring her beyond reason. As they reached the car he spun her quickly and pressed her up against the door of the vehicle making her laugh in surprise.

"Apologize, that was far too mean." He commanded, his eyes narrowing as she merely laughed and shook her head causing loose strands to fall from her messy bun to dance around her features. Never really liking seeing her hair up anyway Andy reached out and grabbed the clasp letting the auburn curtain fall freely around her to bounce at her curved hips making her roll her eyes at him.

"I'll have to punish you later for such insolence." He growled low as he leaned down and took a deep but brief taste of her lips, his hand cupping her face tenderly, holding her to his lips demands until he felt that familiar melting in her bones. When he finally leaned back he smiled down into her darkened orbs, his thumb brushing the remaining moisture away from her plump bottom lip.

"One day your charm and kisses aren't going to get you out or into everything you want with me you know that right?" she grinned before playfully nipping at his thumbs tip, inwardly humming at the look of hunger that flashed across his features that had nothing to do with food.

"Oh I beg to differ, but I guess you'll just have to put up with me for a good fifty or so year's to put that to the test." When she laughed and shook her head he leaned down once more to kiss her, opening the door behind her, pulling her up into his body as he forced it open until she was captured between it and him completely. Only when he felt her shiver and raise her hand up to tangle her fingers into his hair did he lean back and open the door completely as he eased her aside breaking the kiss just when she wanted more.

"Unless you want to finish this in the drive way I suggest we go get some grub." He grinned as she blinked confused for a moment before shaking her head and easing herself into the car allowing him to close the door while she flipped open the mirror and checked to make sure she at least didn't look as ravished as she felt.

When he entered the car and started it she cleared her throat purposefully giving him a pointed look as he ignored the seat belt. He was usually pretty good about using the safety device but every once in awhile, when he didn't feel like they were going far enough to warrant it, he would try to slide by without putting it on.

"Andy-"

"We're just going up the block Kitten, it's not like-"

"Don't you dare even finish that sentence Andrew Dennis Biersack. You don't know what could happen and I'll have you know that most accidents happen within a two mile radius of your home. You are accident prone enough without tempting fate, so please put your seat belt on?" she knew that he would be annoyed with her but she couldn't help it. She'd seen enough to know that it simply just wasn't worth the risk.

"Fine, but only because I know if I don't you'll call my mother again." He grumbled and glared at her hoping she'd feel a little bit of shame at the low blow she'd dealt him before but instead she merely smiled happily and settled back in her seat while he buckled up.

"Don't be mad at me for wanting to keep you around and not being above using whatever tools necessary that I have at my disposal to keep you safe and happy." She grinned then and reached over to tuck a lock of his hair out of his eye tenderly before lowering it to rest against his thigh. "Besides you love the fact that we ganged up on you whether you want to admit it or not."

"Your insane." He rolled his eyes but his lips still curved into a smirk while his right hand lowered to rest atop hers, linking their fingers together as he pulled out onto the road. "Speaking of parents have you heard from yours lately?" he asked curiously, she hadn't mentioned her parents in a few weeks, which wasn't like her.

"Not really, Dad's pressuring me about when we're going to give him a grandbaby and mom wants to know when we're going to come down and visit. I mean really, has the amazement of the first grandbaby worn off so soon? "She huffed, but he could hear the smile in her voice as she talked about her family. Chuckling he would shake his hand and give her hand a squeeze.

"You know your dad's weird right? You're his baby girl; he shouldn't want me defiling you." Then again when he thought about it he'd heard the same thing from his own father. He could understand his father though, wanting to pass on the family name to a grandson, but her father didn't care, he just wanted a grandbaby…it was like he'd switched roles with her mother, or at least the typical role.

"I've stopped trying to figure my family out. We're odd and dysfunctional and yet I wouldn't have them any other way…just maybe not so forceful with the phone call antics." She laughed softly and shook her head before turning it to look out the window as the lights blurred together prettily as he hit faster speeds.

"Well maybe we should visit them soon, we haven't seen them since coming back from the honeymoon." He suggested knowing just how much she missed her parents, brothers and niece. Yet when he happened to glance over he couldn't ignore the look of sadness that briefly touched her face before it would disappear into a smile.

"I know, but when would we have the time. Your leaving in another week and then I'll be heading to New York for the fashion shoot the magazine wants me to do then you'll be touring and I'll be doing something else…there's just no time right now. Soon though." She added with a promise, the same promise she'd been telling herself for the past eight months. Soon was just never soon enough.

"Babe, we could make it work somehow-"Andy tried but she broke him off with another shake of her head and squeeze to his hand.

"Honestly its okay Andy, my family understands and if not yet then they will. I'm just so used to seeing them every day, it's still a big change for us but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I believe even you accused us of loving each other too hard."

Andy sighed as he pulled up to the red light and took the chance to really get to look at his wife. Sometimes it was hard, keeping up with her emotions because sometimes it really was like one person with two different people inside. There was a part of her that was all adventure, that loved the fast pace of their lives and thrived on being somewhere new and different, but then there was that other side of her, the quiet country girl who missed her wide open space, her family and the laid back atmosphere she'd grown up in. He wanted to see her happy but sometimes it was like she got in her own way of it and it left him lost on what to do.

"Yea well, I've been converted over to your strange way of thinking. Sorta happens when you fall in love and get married and start a life with someone. "He smiled hoping to cheer her up and wasn't disappointed when she turned with sparkling eyes towards him.

"I love you too baby." She smiled softly. When the light turned green she turned her eyes back to the window, this time to look for anywhere good to eat that was around. As she felt the car lurch forward she let herself relax finally back into her seat and brush her thoughts away for the time being. She missed her family but she would much rather be here with him than there back where all the darkness was.

It was because of the direction of her gaze that she saw the bright blinding lights coming straight towards them. "Andy!" she barely had time to yell before she felt his arm being thrown across her in an attempt to keep her from smashing forward even as she felt the impact of the other car hitting them. There was the sound of metal crunching metal and glass shattering all around her as her head struck the window of the door making everything blurred and almost slow. She could taste blood in her mouth and the right side of her body felt like it was on fire with pain but it was so hard to focus. She could hear Andy yelling for her, felt his hands unbuckling her seatbelt, touching the side of her face, cradling her close to him but the darkness was pulling at her, drawing her deeper into its murky depths away from his voice and touch until there was stark nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

The sound of a monitor beeping was the first thing that she could focus on and even that hurt. Her whole body felt as if it had been crushed in, ran over and then dumped off Mount Everest. Of course she knew none of that had actually happened but that didn't stop her body from feeling like it had. A bright light began to penetrate the darkness and she realized it was her eyelids fluttering open and from the pain of the light she wasn't sure if she agreed with their determination.

Wincing, she blinked rapidly to try and adjust to the brightness of the hospital room, she'd always hated hospital rooms, how hollow and empty they could make a person feel, how lost and alone. Turning her head gingerly, not knowing the extent of her damages she hissed softly as pain shot through her temple and radiated at the back of her skull. Closing her eyes she turned her head back around away from the monitor as slowly and carefully as she could, releasing a ragged breath as the pain began to fade once she was being still once again.

"You're not supposed to be moving around." Henry's voice came from her right causing her to jump slightly before she gave a tentative smile, careful of the split she could feel on the right side of her mouth.

"Yea well you know me." She croaked out and winced at how scratchy and dry her throat felt. She felt the movement of air in front of her face and forced her eyes open once more to find Henry standing over her with a small foam cup of what she hoped was water.

"Remember to drink it slow." Henry instructed in his no nonsense voice that had her giving the briefest of nods.

"I remember," she whispered before lifting her left hand to wrap her fingers around his as he held the cup to her lips allowing her to sip carefully. Way before she felt ready he was lowering the cup and setting it aside, she wanted more but she knew she shouldn't and nor would he let her even if she requested. "How long have I been out?" she questioned then gasped sitting up strait only to fall back in pain with a low cry.

"Well Rabbit, that was pretty dumb, what the hell were you thinking?" Henry growled at her as he stood there helplessly watching her lay there in pain. He was tempted to call for a nurse but he forced himself to remain where he was, knowing she'd hate the attention as much as he would.

"Where's Andy? Is he okay?" she reached out with her left hand and grasped tightly to one of his on the rail of the bed. Her knuckles were white from the force of her hold, her eyes almost fevered with fear for her husband, the fact that it was Henry here with her and not Andy only intensified her fear of what had happened to him.

"He's alright and definitely not worth you putting yourself through any more damage than you already have. Now lay there and settle down or I'll call for a nurse to make sure you stay there." He threatened and for a moment she saw anger flash before his eyes making her frown.

"What's wrong?" she questioned, her hand easing the pressure now that she knew that Andy was alright, her thumb stroking over the back of Henry's hand, waiting for him to get his words together before she knew he'd speak, taking the moment to focus on breathing so that it didn't hurt quiet so badly with every drawn in breath.

"He should have been more careful," Henry finally managed out between clinched teeth. He'd spent too many years seeing her in pain or hurt. Even as he looked to her now he could see two different versions. One as the child he had known and vowed to protect, the other the woman she was now both images frail and broken making him shake.

"It wasn't his fault Henry, the other car ran the red light, he did everything he could to make sure that I was okay-"

"Does this look like your fucking okay?!" Henry bellowed making her wince and lower her eyes going still at the sight of his anger. Henry forced himself to take a deep breath, his knuckles white as they held tightly to the rail of her bed, his head lowered as he made himself calm down knowing she didn't need this right now.

"I'm sorry." He heard the small reply coming from the bed and groaned before shaking his head. Disgusted with himself and the feelings boiling within him and with the conditioning evident in her response, he jerked away from the bed and raked a hand through his hair.

"Stop it." Henry ordered but this time in a softer voice, not wanting her to go there again. "If anyone should apologize it's me. I just hate seeing you hurt, I hate this feeling." He rubbed at his chest where it hurt every time he looked at her. When she reached out her left hand for him he sighed and stepped back up to the bed and took her hand between his, cradling it as if it were the most precious and fragile glass.

"I know. I've seen you in one of these beds a time or two." Ruin smiled as softly as she could with one side of her mouth. She wanted to move her other hand to caress his head as he bent it over her hand and pressed his lips to her skin, desperate to sooth her dearest friend. "I'm okay Henry, nothing that a little time and rest won't cure. Accidents happen all the time, I can't live in a plastic bubble you know?" she added the last playfully hoping to see him smile.

"Bubble wrap is the general consensus." A deep voice spoke from the doorway, immediately causing her eyes to look up from the dark head still bent over her hand and though she couldn't offer him the bright smile she was used to giving the instantaneous brightness that came too her eyes was more than enough for him, hell he was happy just seeing her eyes open at all.

"Yea well, it'd be hard to love up on me with bubble wrap in the way." She teased as he made his way over from the doorway to stand on the opposite side of the bed. She'd give anything to be able to reach up and touch him but her cast covered arm flat out refused to move at the moment. Instead Andy would bend and brush his lips against her forehead, letting them linger as he breathed her in beneath the smell of the hospital and blood that still clung to her.

"I'm sure we could figure out something." He whispered against her flesh before lowering his forehead to hers, staring deep into those sun flower eyes that held his soul captive. Gently he would cup the left side of her face and allowed his thumb to graze along her skin. "That's twice now that I thought I'd lost you." Andy shook his head gently against hers before placing his lips in a soft kiss against hers before he'd lean back up.

"And don't you dare apologize for it again." That came from Henry and even as her eyes narrowed, the corner of her lips twitched as she suppressed a smile, not sure how he'd take her humor right now.

"Well…I am," she dared to whisper and at his narrowed gaze she quickly shifted her eyes to her husband and relaxed when she saw his returning smile and the amused shake of his head.

"Your turn Henry, go get some coffee and make the phone calls you need too." Andy looked to the other man who still held to his wife's hand as if he might not let go. It had been tense between the two of them from the moment that Henry had arrived at the hospital. He could still remember the fury in the larger man's eyes as he'd pinned Andy up against the wall and snarled like a wild animal. It had taken an act of congress not to punch his friend and get out his own fear and aggression. He knew that Henry blamed him for the accident, blamed him for not keeping better care of Ruin but after the initial anger had faded, after they'd been forced apart, Andy knew it was all because Henry was blaming himself more than anything or anyone else.

Henry's head jerked up and his eyes narrowed at being ordered out of the room but when Andy met his gaze with his own unblinkingly and showed no sign of backing down Henry sighed deeply and finally gave a nod of his head before turning his attention back to Ruin. "I'll be back in a couple minutes," he vowed then pressed another kiss to her hand before standing straight and leaving the room, leaving the couple alone.

"How long have I been out?" she asked curiously as she watched him move to the other side of the bed and before he could even fully stop moving her hand was reaching out to cup his face within her palm, tears sparkling in her eyes as she felt the fear of the accident hit her all over again. She blinked back the tears and the upset though and focused on Andy, knowing he needed to see her ok.

"Just a few hours, you have a moderate concussion, broken arm and a couple broken ribs. Thankfully your leg didn't get crushed but your knee is pretty swollen, they said it should go down in a couple days though." Andy turned his head and brushed his lips against her palm before taking her hand and lowering it down to clasp it between the both of his much like Henry had done before.

Ruin frowned and her brows drew together as she watched him, thought back to how Henry had acted before Andy had entered the room. "That's all good things though considering how bad it could have been. We should be happy shouldn't we?" she hated hearing the fear in her voice, hear the quiver in the tone and it only became worse when he didn't immediate answer nor did he seem to cheer up at all.

"Andy what is it? What's wrong?" she finally just broke down and asked, the words coming from her in a rush. Andy immediately looked up then and as he kept one hand firmly holding to hers he brought the other up to gently brush her hair off of her forehead trying to sooth her as best that he could.

"Brandy…" he whispered, her real name sounding strange on his tongue and to his ears. "You were…apparently …" he closed his eyes as fresh waves of pain crashed over him. "You were pregnant. The accident caused too much trauma and…and you lost it before they could even get you to the hospital." He finally forced himself to breath out, wincing as he heard her initial sob break over them both.

He lowered his head to rest against hers, still unable to look into her face right now, knowing the devastation that would be evident. He felt her hand grasp a hold of his arm, felt her nails raking over his flesh as she clung to him as the sobs tore from her soul and wracked her body with unbearable pain. He had never felt so helpless, not even hours ago in the car when she'd screamed his name seconds before the car slammed into them. She'd been unconscious, he hadn't been forced to witness the pain her body was actually in as they pulled her from the car and put her in the ambulance.

He could feel it now, like a poison in his blood as it pumped throughout both their bodies, her pain mixed with his own. She'd been pregnant; they'd made a child together no matter how brief of a time it had actually existed. He thought back to the talk in the nursery, how he'd thought he wasn't ready, how they weren't ready. The disappointment he'd felt when she said she wasn't pregnant. Even then she'd been carrying their life within her and now it was gone, snuffed out before it'd even had the chance to be acknowledged.

"I'm sorry Andy, I'm so so sorry," she cried into his arm as she held it tightly to her, wishing she could feel his arms around her. She'd never thought she'd ever feel this kind of helpless pain again, she didn't know what to do with it, to do with herself. She'd always heard that you couldn't love someone you didn't know but she did, in the span of just minutes she'd come from blissfully unaware of its little presence to being completely and utterly devastated at its loss. Would it have been a little boy, a little girl? Did it feel pain as it passed away in what should have been the safest of places? Was it scared?

"Shh baby it's not your fault, you didn't do this. This is no one's fault except for the other drivers do you hear me?" Andy forced himself to lean back enough so he could look at her, felt his heart rip into a million pieces at her broken expression. When she refused to look at him or acknowledge what he'd said he captured her face as gently as he could and forced her to look at him. "I mean it Kitten, neither of us even had an idea. The doctor said you were barely even along, three weeks max. There's no way you could have known and even if you had it's not like there was anything we could have done differently. We didn't do anything wrong." He reaffirmed and held her gaze until he finally saw her give the softest of nods.

"Henry has probably told the doctor and nurses that your awake now, I'm going to call them so they can come give you something for the pain okay?" when she merely gave another weak nod and turned her head to stare out the window regardless of the pain it caused her, Andy sighed and pressed a kiss to her forehead before forcing himself to step away and out of the room. When he closed the door he looked up to see Henry standing across the hall leaning against the wall, his dark eyes focused on the room's door.

"She's not talking." Was all Andy could say as he came over to lean against the wall next to his friend, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his smokes only to remember where he was and curse rather violently just as a nurse walked by. He ignored the stern expression and flicked his lighter repeatedly and absently.

"Come on." Henry jerked his head towards the exit, moving his body in that direction not waiting to see if Andy would follow. He didn't stop walking even after they exited the hospital but the footfalls behind him let him know that Andy was still with him. He didn't stop until he was across the street from the hospital with a clear shot of Ruin's window. He'd instructed the nurse to wave when they were done so they would know to come up and not leave her alone for too long.

"What do you want her to say?" He finally asked the quiet man beside him as they both took out their cigarettes and lit up until there was a grey smoke cloud around the both of them.

"Nothing. Anything. Something to let me know that she heard me and that she's going to be okay." Andy answered before taking another deep pull of the tobacco, wishing it could burn the pain away as much as it burned his throat.

"She'll be okay. She was just hit with everything all at once. She needs to process it and decide what to do with the knowledge." Henry spoke through his own smoke before flicking the ashes into the street in front of them.

"You didn't see her in there Henry; it was like…like she was completely broken." Andy looked to the other man and frowned when he just shook his head and kept his eyes trained on the window.

"She isn't broken, she might think she is or you might think she is but I've seen her get through worse shit than this. Just give her some time to think about everything and realize that it could have been a lot worse."

"And how is her nearly being killed and losing our baby not worse?" Andy demanded ready to beat the shit out of the man who he considered one of his closest friends. He was still shaking from earlier, could still feel her small frame jerking in as much emotional pain as physical against him.

"You know I can't tell you." Henry sighed and finally lowered his eyes from the hospital window and the shadows moving in the room to look to Andy seeing the wild array of emotion in his eyes at his words.

"And neither will she! Do you know how it feels? To love someone so much and know they don't trust you?!" Andy raged his frustrations of the past three years in an uncontrollable outburst he'd been holding in for too long. "To have to go to a fucking middle man to get a clue as to why your own wife is behaving the way she is? You think I haven't asked her? You think I haven't asked her parents but all I ever fucking get is "I can't tell you" or "ask her" How the fuck do you think that makes me feel. And even right now, in this moment when it should be me and here dealing with the loss of OUR child, here you are, looking at me like I did something wrong!"

"You didn't do anything wrong Andy," Henry finally was able to break in the tirade and sighed knowing he was partly to blame for everything the younger man had been through. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way when I got here tonight. I know you don't understand everything that's between us, what all we'd gone through and that's our fault. It's not like I like keeping it to myself. You think I haven't told her that she needed to tell you, to trust you not to run when you know everything."

"Is that really what she thinks I'd do? That I'd leave her over something that happened before I ever even knew her, something that wasn't even her fault? I know she was raped, I'm not an idiot, I know the signs. I know she was abused but by whom I have no idea because it sure as hell wasn't her parents-"

"Her dad no, and her mother didn't abuse her necessarily at least not in the way people think." Henry interrupted with another heavy sigh. "Look it's not just one incident, we're talking years of people hurting her in one way or another, you can't just explain all that in a single sit down conversation. When a person finally puts all that shit behind them the last thing they want to do is revisit the pain. Why the hell do you think she took on a different name, she wanted to escape her past and who she'd been when all of it went down. She doesn't want to talk to you about it because she doesn't want to think about it, doesn't want to admit that people who were supposed to love and protect her hurt her. It has nothing to do with not trusting you."

"Then what should I do?" Andy finally spoke after a few minutes of silence and another cigarette lit between them. He hated to admit it, but he felt better just getting the outburst out, of finally telling Henry how it felt with him always there between them and to see that Henry was actually on the same page but just as hand tied as he was.

"Right now, love her with all that you are for all that she is to you. I know you got a tour coming up and are planning on leaving in a week, this isn't all going to get sorted out in that amount of time, you know that right?"

"I know, I've already talked to Jon and he's making the calls to postpone the tour until further notice. I hate doing it, knowing how far behind it puts us and the fans that have already purchased tickets, the interviews…it's all going to be a mess but it's just going to have to be worked out later. I'm not leaving her alone right now, not with her being in the condition she's in…not with just loosing the baby." Each time he said it, each time he even thought about it; it killed him a little more inside.

"Then if that's the case and you really want my advice… take her home Andy. Not to you guy's place here where she can look at that room and slip away from us. Take her home to her family, to Oklahoma. Get to know that other side of her that you've only seen glimpses of. Take her back to the start where she can't pretend that she's a different person and that it doesn't matter."

"You sure that she could handle that right now, I don't want to put more on her than what she can take?" Andy asked, even though he was already formulating a plan on what to do and how to get her there without a lot of fuss.

"She needs her mom." Henry answered simply as if that answered all of it but it only made Andy more confused.

"But you just said that her mom-"

"Was young, dumb and going through shit on her own. She did the best she could with what she had and she thought she'd left her somewhere safe. And she did, her grandparents did everything they could to give her a good life but shit happens out of your control. You can't keep your kids safe all the time. Especially when you think they're with people you can trust." Henry shook his head almost sadly. "No one on this earth regrets anything as much as her mom regrets not being there for her when she was a kid. Trust me; she needs her mom right now."

"Alright, Oklahoma it is." Andy flicked his dead cigarette out onto the street and blew out the last bit of smoke from his lungs only to turn his eyes as he felt Henry's hand drop onto his shoulder making him turn to face the other man. For a moment Henry just looked at him before he'd move his hand to grasp the back of his neck and drew him into him for a tight hug.

At first Andy was tense against him, trying to hold himself firm but Henry just held him there and waited. "I'm sorry brother." That was all that he said, and it was all that needed to be said for him to feel the slight loosening of muscles in the other man. He didn't hear the heartbreaking sobs that the other man held back, or feel the hot tears that refused to fall onto his leather jacket, but he felt the pain and grief that broke over him, the terror and heartache Andy had been holding in for the woman that he loved. "I'm so sorry."


	7. Chapter 7

_**{Author's note: I am so very sorry that it has taken this long to update this story. From tornado's to new systems at work it just seems like I've lost my little window of opportunity to write, but everything seems to be calming down now so hopefully I can get back on track with my stories. Thanks to everyone who has been patient and is still a fan of this story, I love you all!  
Darkdaydreamer17- there is no need to apologize! I'm just so happy you read it and have liked it so far. Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad that everything seems to be coming out the way that I want it too. I thought over what you said and I have to agree, even though this is more an Andy centered story I do need to put more of the guys into it like how I started. I know this might not have been what you were thinking but it's the beginning of merging them all back into the story. I hope you enjoy hun! Again thank you so much!}**_

Ruin sighed softly as she lifted the last of her luggage with one hand and turned to look around the house with saddened eyes. She really didn't want to do this, no matter how much Andy argued that she needed it. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her family; she just didn't want to see them under these circumstances. Maybe her husband was right though; Henry seemed to support the idea rather forcefully, so maybe they knew something she didn't.

"You alright babygirl?" C.C asked as he came through the front door after loading up the other bags. Her fingers tightened over the handle, trying to keep it with her but he merely raised an eyebrow and held his hand out for it. It was a show down of wills for no more than a few seconds but it brought a smile to her lips even as she handed it over. "Good choice." C.C grinned and gave her a nod of approval then leaned against the doorframe watching her, waiting on her to answer.

Sighing she rolled her eyes at him playfully before she'd give him a tiny smile. "I'd be a hell of a lot better if all of you would stop treating me as if I'm about to break." She bit into her bottom lip to fight back a smile as he rolled his eyes and tapped against the cast that covered her arm. "Hey, that doesn't count." She narrowed her eyes playfully only to slap at his hand as he moved it to ruffle her hair.

"We love ya chica, and the doctor said to not put any strain on yourself. So instead of giving the evil glare and arguing over every little thing, why don't you just say thank you?" He suggested with an understanding grin. He'd had his own fair share of broken bones and he knew what it was like to want to do things and feel restricted cause he couldn't. Besides, he couldn't be mad at her little tantrums, no matter how bad she got, she was nothing in comparison to Andy. He shuddered just at the thought.

"The doctor can go fuck himself." She answered with a growl and narrowed eyes, but just as quickly as she flared up, she was calming down and even offering a small little laugh. "Your right though, Thank you C.C." she leaned forward and brushed a kiss against his cheek, grinning when she saw the gloss that remained on his flesh after she leaned back.

"You know, a lesser man would be concerned about his wife kissing all these strange men all the time." Andy teased as he came up behind C.C with Ashley following close behind. Andy had at first been reluctant to tell the guys they could come see them off, not sure if seeing them would help or hinder Ruin, but he was glad he'd agreed. She needed this, and in turn they needed to do this for her. She'd smiled more in the last couple hours than she had in the last week since coming home.

Ruin smiled and shook her head before she'd move to slide her arms around his waist, leaning into him as she lifts herself up on her toes and brushes her lips softly against Andy's. She'd only meant for a light caress but Andy's hand lifted to cradle the side of her face gently, his thumb as it stroked along her cheek lulling her into relaxing against him as he deepens the embrace just a little.

Andy knew he couldn't push her and he wasn't interested in trying, but it had been days, weeks since she'd allowed him anything besides a kiss on the cheek or a light peck at the corner of her mouth and he'd been the one to initiate. This was the first time since the accident she'd allowed him her mouth and he couldn't help but savor her, if only just a little.

Ruin giggled against his mouth as she heard Ashley behind them, still outside. "Dude, could we at least move into the house before you guys start dancing the tongue tango?" Andy growled and raised his free hand to flip off his band mate over her shoulder, giving her one last soft kiss before he'd lean back and wink down to her, relieved to see color in her cheeks and brightness in her eyes, replacing the pale emptiness that had been haunting her since the accident.

Ruin gave him a gentle squeeze with her arms before she forced herself back from him so he could move further in, allowing Ashley to move in as well. "Sorry Ashley, what can I say, he's irresistible." She gave a playfully girly sigh which had him rolling his eyes and giving her a playful shove.

"You just don't care you broke my heart do you?" he pouted, sniffing dejectedly. "You were supposed to fall madly for me. I had such high hopes for you." Ashley shook his head and sent a glare towards Andy. "Bastard, the least you could do was share." He grumbled causing them all to laugh.

"Hey!" Ruin shouted with a laugh and shoved him back causing him to fall against the wall, a hand clutching his heart. "Don't I get a say in all this?" she asked only to have C.C shake his head at her and move to lean near her, as if to whisper in her ear only he said it plenty loud enough for the other two to hear.

"If he's broken hearted now, then we shouldn't tell him about our wild three some huh?" He winked at her causing her to bite at her lip to try and fight back a grin while she shook her head and leaned in as well, mirroring his stance and his tone.

"Nah, don't think he could handle it, besides Andy's so close he might hear, and I'd hate for you and Ben to get murdered in your sleep." She nods to her words as if the conversation was completely between the two of them, only to burst out laughing at the reactions that followed.

"Hey! What the hell, why wasn't I invited!"

"What the fuck!"

Oh it felt like forever since she'd laughed, truly laughed and it felt so good to do so now, here with her family. Sure they weren't blood related but Andy's band mates and friends had become like brothers to her. Brother's that occasionally flirted wildly with her to piss off her husband, but brothers all the same. She pouted then at the thought of Ben and Danny. It had been ages since she'd gotten to hang with them and she missed them both, Ben though more so. He wouldn't be here treating her like fragile glass, knowing him he'd probably have already hit her at least three times and pissed her off a dozen more.

Her thoughts must have somehow shown on her face because she felt the pressure of Andy's hand at her hip drawing her back to rest against his chest. Sighing softly she closed her eyes and breathed him in, one small hand clenching into the back of his cut up t-shirt to hold him close. "We'll see them when we get back Kitten." Andy promised into her ear and she smiled a little to feel his lips against her temple.

She'd missed this, missed him. She knew it wasn't fair to shut him out, especially since he was hurting just as badly as she was, but she couldn't help it. She wasn't fresh and new to depression and she'd known it would get ugly when she ignored the Doctor's pressuring to take some anti-depressants. She understood that for some people, they needed the medication but she didn't. She'd been living through the cycles all her life, she knew she only had to get pissed off enough at herself to draw her back out and this time she had Andy there to help her.

He might not understand how he had helped her seeing as she'd sort of shut down on him, but knowing he was there and wasn't going to go anywhere had indeed helped her. He was so good at breaking down her walls, forcing her to release some of those old demons that threatened to overwhelm her, just by the single touch of his hand. When he'd supported her choice to not take the prescription it had surprised her, but never more so when he stood in the bathroom with her and watched as she flushed all of those pills down the toilet.

She'd never forget how much his staunch support had meant to her. He'd given her the space she needed, had weathered her moods and hadn't blown up at her a single time, not that he didn't make quite a bit needless ruckus in the music room on the nights it got too bad.

"You about ready to head out babygirl, it's a long ass trip, why the hell didn't you want to fly?" C.C asked as he pulled her from Andy and tossed an arm over her shoulders, leading her out to the car while Ashley moved to her other side, taking her good hand in his.

"Especially when you could have joined in mile high club," Ashley teased with a wink that caused her to laugh and give his hand a squeeze. She still looked pretty awful, at least in her opinion but at least the swelling and bruising were nearly gone on her face, her side though was still pretty ugly.

"Yea cause I just so scream "hot sex" right now." She rolled her eyes and tilted her head towards her cast, which would definitely have made things awkward in a confined space like an airplane bathroom. Ashley rolled his own eyes back at her and shook his head.

"Baby believe me, that cast wouldn't be any trouble at all. It's a shame your husband has such shitty sex skills, if you'd have stuck with me you'd have no doubts about what we could and couldn't do." He wiggled his eyebrows only to curse loudly as his head was thrown forward from Andy's smack to the back of his head.

"Quit hitting on my wife fucker, she dropped your ass like the bad habit you are, get over it already." Andy growled menacingly from behind but it only caused Ruin to giggle and lean further into C.C as Ashley was forced to release her hand so he could turn and retaliate, trying to put Andy in a headlock which began the struggle between them that usually happened at least once a night.

"I swear, fucking kids." C.C joked and leads her up to the car so he could open the passenger side door for her before he'd hold out his arms wide for her. Grinning Ruin rushed forth and hugged him as tightly as she could with her cast keeping her range of motion rather limited, still she found she couldn't complain as his arms locked as carefully around her as he dared and she was pressed against him. She really did love these guys. "You take care of yourself and the idiot over there okay babygirl, and don't forget to come back okay? I don't want to go back to what it was like before." He shuddered playfully making her laugh and give him a squeeze before she leaned back.

"Trust me, as much as I love my family, this is home…you guys are home for me." She promised and was rewarded with a genuine smile before he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, his fingers combing through her hair tenderly before he'd take a step back and move away allowing Ashley to take his place.

"Damn right we are, you tell your family if they even try to keep you from coming home, we'll gather our forces and storm the castle." He teased, referring to his constant "red neck princess" comments he had been delivering since learning about some of the fun hobbies her family had. "Shouldn't be too hard to bring down a castle made of sticks from the boonies right?" He chuckled then grunted as she playfully punched his stomach before he drew her into him and gave her a tight hug, hurting her side a little but she didn't mind at all.

"I love you too my little deviant." She whispered into his ear, squeezing him back just as tight, feeling his lips press against her neck making her grin. If there was one thing that Andy hated, it was Ashley's apparently love for pushing the boundaries with his affectionate nature with Ruin. Of course they both knew he was just doing it to piss off Andy, but it was fun as hell to watch him blow, especially over nothing.

"Ashley…" came the growl from the other side of the car which made them both chuckle lightly under their breaths before he would pull back and release her completely, winking at the man across the top of the car.

Ruin gave another laugh and waved to the both of them before she'd start to get into the car, only to pause as an unfamiliar car pulled up in front of theirs, blocking them in. Frowning she lifted her hand and shaded her eyes, wondering who on earth it was because Jake and Jinx had already came by earlier to see them off. As soon as the two guys exited the car Ruin gave a delighted squeal and ran around the side of theirs and out onto the drive way, not stopping until she ran into the tall lanky frame of Ben.

"Oi! Where the fuck is my love!" she heard Danny shout, but she ignored him for now and simply savored the feel of Ben's arms wrapping tightly around her, not giving a fuck about her side just like she knew he wouldn't.

"Shut the fuck up ya pussy, we all know she loves me more than anyone!" Ben shouted back over her shoulder making her laugh against him. It didn't take long though for him to focus his full attention on the little sprite in his arms as Danny moved off to greet their friends. "Sorry we couldn't get here sooner love." He whispered for her ears alone as his arms tugged her even closer, his head lowering to rest his face where her neck and shoulder met and breathed her in. "Don't ever fucking scare us like that again, ya hear me? I'll fucking kill you next time." He vowed and she could hear the fear he'd been dealing with in his voice and in his body as it shook slightly against her.

She would never know what it was that had drawn Ben and her together, but since that very first meeting he'd shot right up her list of favorite people, only topped by Andy, her niece and possibly her brother and parents…maybe. She was so grateful that Andy understood her need for Henry and Ben, because it honestly wasn't anything sexual at all, she wasn't interested in them romantically, just the thought nearly made her laugh. These two men were a part of her, different sides that made up the whole.

"I'm sorry, it's not like we meant for it to happen." She whispers softly, closing her eyes tight to fight back the wave of tears that came with those words. Whether she meant the accident or the pregnancy she wasn't sure but just the thought of the later caused a sharp pain threatening to steal her breath. He must have felt the difference in her because his arms squeezed her again before he leaned back to finally take a good look at her face, raising his hands to cradle the delicate structure carefully. Very few people knew that this side of Ben existed; his brass and bold characteristics sometimes masked the gentle and caring man that resided within. He'd explained to her when she finally questioned him about it, that he felt that it would be a waste of effort showing it to people who didn't give a shit, and who didn't really want to see it to begin with.

All the tabloids and dirt sheets loved the wild, cocky bastard that fed those stories and got them the money they so greedily wanted. No he'd save it for the people that actually mattered, and she couldn't say as she could find fault with his logic. When she heard him give a little grunt she brought her eyes up to his and bit into her lip when she saw the concern so clearly written on his face. Andy had assured her, along with the other guys that she looked fine but she had seen her reflection that morning and knew she still looked a mess, and Ben didn't hide the fact that he agreed.

"Fuckin 'ell bitch, what the fuck did you do to yourself?" he growled at her and it made her laugh as she shook her head within his hold.

"Oh ya know, just decided it would be fun to run to be hit by a moving vehicle going about sixty. You think this is bad you should see the other guy." She winked playfully only to roll her eyes as he glared and stiffened up, lowering his hands from her.

"I'd kill him if I saw him, fucker should be dead." Ruin sighed softly and let him get his anger out. Andy had behaved the same, and it had taken her crying to finally get him to stop threatening to find his hospital room to finish the job. The man hadn't meant to cause all this, and sure she wasn't exactly thrilled he'd been driving drunk, but he made a bad decision, one that he was already paying for. She'd forgiven him; she just wished she could get her hot headed loved ones to do the same.

"I haven't seen you in months, I'm hurt and pouty and about to hit the road, and all you can do is give your focus to him?" she sniffed dramatically, "I thought you loved me."

"Oi! Don't get the water works started or I'll fucking bash you." He grumbled but smiled letting her know that he was over the brief brutal mood.

"So am I ever going to get a fucking hug?" Danny's voice came from behind making her laugh as she forced herself from Ben and moved into Danny's embrace. "There we go that's fucking better. Don't you know I love you too?" he pouted near her ear causing her to giggle and run her good hand up and down his back in a soothing manner.

"Aww poor baby, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." She grinned as she responded, her eyes twinkling as she looked over her shoulder to Andy finding him crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes good naturedly.

"That's alright, I know you were just saving the best for last." He answered back, giving her a gentle squeeze making sure not to hurt her unlike his best mate.

"Ya know I'm standing right the fuck here." Andy grumbled before he'd move to separate them and pull her back to his side with a playful growl towards all the others. He smirked as Ben flipped him off while the others held up their hands as if to say they were done. Of course Ben would be the one to tell him to fuck off. Between him and Henry there were times he really had to wonder just how much and in what way exactly they loved his wife, but just as quick as he thought it he would discard it. He was a possessive man, he couldn't help that, but he trusted his friends but more importantly he trusted her, always.

"Yea and you guys should have hit the road about an hour ago to keep your schedule." C.C laughed and shook his head before moving over to give Andy a hug, then another to Ruin, the others following suit.

Ruin pouted as she released Ben, the last to give their farewells, "But they just got here…"she whined and felt Andy's finger land on her lips to stop her even as the others chuckled and shook their head at her. She'd been trying to slip out of this trip ever since Andy had brought it to her, three times today alone.

"We're going to see your family Ruin, Ben and Danny will be here when we get back. Now get your cute little ass into that car before I put you there myself." He smiled sure, but Ruin could see the threat in his eyes. Oh he'd do it alright and she wouldn't even be able to fight back properly. So instead she glared at him and huffed before making her way back to the car and sitting down.

"He's right ya know, we already made sure we'd be off tour when you get back." Ben assured her, leaning his elbows on the rolled down window, smiling at the way she still pouted. Reaching in he poked at her cheek repeatedly until she couldn't hold back a smile any more. "There we go, that's what we want to see. Now get outta here and don't forget to bring me back something"

Ruin laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm not bringing you back a gun or a knife Ben, that's just stupid. I'll bring you back something that won't get you landed in jail." She laughed then looked over as Andy got in and strapped in his seat belt before he began to fidget with the car making her laugh and roll her eyes once more.

"Shut up kitten, it's fucking new and I don't know all the fucking buttons yet and you're not helping." Andy grumbled and tried to turn off the automatic lights only to turn on the windshield wipers causing all of them to burst out laughing. Before Andy could do anything drastic to the poor car, he'd already abused it a couple times before; Ruin would reach over and turn the windshield wipers off, then smacked his hand when he tried to reach for the other.

"Their automatic for a reason Andy, this way you don't have to worry about turning them on and off. Now stop fiddling with things." She grinned at him and at his narrowed eyes she'd lean forward and give him a soft kiss, effectively stealing away his anger. When she pulled back there was a smile on his lips but his eyes still narrowed at her.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing." He warned her, tapping a long finger against her pert little nose making it wrinkle to his delight. God he'd missed her, so much that it had become an actual physical pain.

"Oh I know you know, but I know you know I know that it still works." She'd wink and grin before falling back against the seat, offering a happy wave to their friends as they moved out of their way so they could get going. As soon as the car started moving, she felt her smile drop and butterflies once more swarm in her belly. She hadn't even realized she'd started twisting her good hand's fingers into her dress until she felt Andy's reach over and grab it, anchoring her to him, forcing her to look over when he gave it a squeeze.

"Talk to me Kitten, what are you so afraid of?" Surely she wasn't scared of her family's reaction to everything. On the phone and later on Skype, her family had seemed nothing but concerned and eager to have them visit, definitely not showing anything that would cause this type of apprehension from their daughter.

"I just…I don't…" she sighed softly and closed her eyes tightly, her hand squeezing his as she fights to put her words out for the first time. "I'm afraid of what will happen when you know everything." She finally whispered.

"Baby, don't you know I'm not going anywhere. I've already figured out a lot of what's going on, and it hasn't changed anything yet has it?" he asked gently, fighting the anger that burst within him at her words. He didn't want to be angry with her, especially when she was finally opening up, but he couldn't deny the hurt either.

"I know I just…" she paused again and it took every ounce of will power he had not to try and force her to finish and instead focused on the road, his thumb stroking her hand as calmly as he could. "I'm just scared of seeing pity in your eyes." She finally finished, surprising Andy, causing him to take his eyes off the road for a second to look at her with shock then turned them back to the road ahead of him, squeezing her hand tightly in his. Relief flooded him, if this was all that she was afraid of, if this was what had been keeping her from opening up to him then he had no fear that they would be okay.

"Baby, listen to me, now. I love you, I married you and one day you will be the mother of my children. You are the strongest person I know. How you could possibly be the fucking amazing woman you are after everything you have been through humbles me. You will never, ever see pity in my eyes, there is way too much love and pride to allow that in." He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the back and then the palm. He released it when she pulled it back, smiling a little when she moved to slide her fingers through his hair. He'd have closed his eyes from the pleasure of her touch if he wasn't so paranoid about wrecking again.

"I love you baby." Ruin whispered over the lump that had formed in her throat. She had more fears, more reasons for not telling him everything, but the biggest one had come forth and even though he really hadn't been put to the test, his complete faith in his love for her made her feel shamed for not having that same faith in him. She was tired of carrying this weight with her, tired of the pain she saw in his face every time she shut down. He deserved so much more and it was time that she gave him his fair share. "Where do you want me to start?" she asked softly. She'd rather he find out everything on the way there and have time to process before he saw her family, she needed him to fully understand that so many things had changed.

"At the beginning, take your time if you need too, we got plenty of hours ahead of us before we stop at the hotel." He assured her and turned his head slightly; keeping is eyes on the road but brushing his lips against her wrist as she continued to play with his hair. It was past time for them to clear the air and now that it was happening, he just wanted it to be over and past them.


End file.
